Continuing on from the previous blog areas I think the following areas are worth putting some thoughts into as you begin the journey to find a partner:
- Kids – For some this area is definitely a tricky topic to discuss as they are unsure of how they feel about being a parent or having a child themselves and there might also be some issues around health. When do you actually know for sure how you feel about children and how many you will have? I guess the key question to begin with is, do you envision having children? After which, how many children can be discussed and explored. If you have children from a previous marriage then this topic is a must for discussion. It is good to be clear about your expectations from your new partner towards this topic. Some individuals may have given this area a great deal of thought and have very clear ideas on it, for example, thoughts on how they want to raise their children and what they want their partner to be doing to support that vision….Then there will be those that have no particular desire either way and wish to focus only on the spiritual journey (bhagti) and to do selfless seva in the community. And lastly, due to medical reasons there could be complications in having children as treatments and medications used to overcome an illness can (in some cases) make it difficult to conceive, there could also be underlying health issues that can make childbirth risky.
- Residence – Where are you planning to live? Are you ready to share your space, and is there adequate space to be shared or do you need to make adjustments? How do you feel about living with a new family? Are there some conversations that need to be had so expectations can be carefully managed? What are the longer term plans for the future?
- Long or short engagement – we recommend that couples wed within 1.5years, how does this sit with you and your individual future plans? What are the safe guards that need to be put in place for longer term engagements?
- Lifestyle – Are you ready to grow your social circle of friends and family members? Are there certain events or type of events you would NEVER attend or agree to attend? Are there certain lifestyle choices you wish to maintain after marriage that need to be discussed? How frequently will you want to visit family members, might be worth discussing especially if they are out of state or country….
- Diet – Marriage is a partnership which means an equal divide; are you ready to do your share of the cooking? What are your expectations when it comes to food rehat? Is there something you desire further in the future but not currently e.g. A Bebeki diet?
- Rehat – It is a big area but are there key areas where you have expectations of your future spouse? Are you ready to make adjustments if negotiated?
